And still I went to the Parish…
As you see, a disaster of dirt; I have a little to finish this pile of filth. I’ve started a week ago; little by little, I stayed again, the day is short… but I’ll finish, I’ll see how, little by little, because I go crazy in vain if doing nothing. Due to my tiredness and disease I alternate my moments of doing nothing of those working.
See what happened today. Today I will talk rudely because I’m very disturbed and nervous and tired. All night I had: crises of epilepsy, insomnia, nightmares, evil visits… full… and after I finally ate and said to rest a little bit, nooo, only troubles; I didn’t had to stay in bed the way the doctor said. And I had afterwards… I said that, whatever, I staid a little bit on the chair, I rested a little, I said to stay at least on the chair if I cannot stay in bed… And one of my sisters said she has a twisted arm, to go to a woman in the village to fix it. And Angelica goes like this, slowly, slowly at this woman and she really found the arm a little twisted, but not seriously injured. She gave it a massage with water and soap, put some ointment for this and tied it up with a white, beautiful cloth of cotton like this women had. For, I went with a cloth from my home too, but the woman said no, she won’t start to saw the cloth because she should have cut it in same way, to saw it and the woman said she can’t handle it now and took some cloth of her own and did for Valentina there, tied her the way you tie the hand: shoulder, hand, shoulders one to another… whatever. Afterwards, when coming back… when coming back, we went trough cemeteries too, we searched the dead relatives, to see how their tombs look like because I’m thinking to go there when the garden mower ordered by one of my sisters. Maybe will succeed, maybe my second brother will agree because he didn’t wanted this year to sweep the grass because my mother said there are weeds, it remained deserted there. My grandparents died and my uncle died too. It’d deserted there, nobody lives there anymore. They have some weeds, some crabgrass as big as the trees. And to walk there and cut there and make it beautiful and at the graves, but I’ve walked until the crises begun, a little, of epilepsy and I had to leave while I was still standing in order to get home. But look that at my grandparents graves was clean up nice, but I got that at my uncles graves that I haven’t found yet people said some time ago that it is a mess… we have to ask our relatives where their graves are because I wasn’t able to go to the church as is the habit in our area and I do not know anymore where their graves are, I haven’t found not either the grave I went to, I forgot where it was and I looked around, but still haven’t found it, if the sun hadn’t burn that much and didn’t had this epilepsy, the tiredness and the night the way it was… I would have stayed, I would have looked at every crux, because I have patience, I’m warming up for every loopholes, I do not run from the details, labyrinths of those of searching, I have patience and impatience, but I do not let a job unfinished when I have something to do, I figure it out, I’ll do it in the end.
And when I got around the Parish, see this, I saw the Parish Priest and that’s why I got away and that’s why I did not get away. But I said that if I saw him and if he is home, let’s finish what I’ve started, to talk to him to remove me from that registry, with the letter. But see that him started to tear my nuts off with those official words, well gathered, ordered, intellectual, like the Mother of God used to tell me that priests know human psychologies better then the psychologists and they are even more interested to know exactly the way people think in order to know what to say, how to say, how to pull it off, how to twist it, how to swing it so they finally land on their feet ’cause the Mother of God said that even the cat falls but they never tumble in front of a officially run-down situation. They know how to do to tie everything up in a neat little bow. But I am the way I am and God always said to me not to force myself to be refined,diplomat, calculated, to think words. To be the way I am. And me the way I am , the way I’ve been all my life, I am a eternal restless, rare for me to be quiet, I do not get things, all things at first, my vocabulary the one you know I’ve assimilated in 40 years, I should have had it in school, not when they all laughed at me that I am stupid as hell and have no idea what to do, how to do it, when to talk, what to talk.
But I get over-fury when it gets to unjust and do you know what the parish said to me? To shorten it, ’cause for sure I won’t remember everything he said, maybe I’ll remember once I have to do more treatments for my memory – both because of my tiredness and my condition I have memory losses, and from my traumas…whatever, all gathered there as in a madhouse. But at least I didn’t got at the madhouse, I still know my name, but dysfunctional, the way the people say at once that she has gone crazy, but yeah, yeah. But I still know my name, where I am, of stubbing people I haven’t done that anymore, it never happened again, I control the fact of not stubbing anybody no matter of how nervous I am.
And see what the Parish Priest says. The letter that I put in the mailbox is not sufficiently conclusive. He took me like I don’t even have discernment, that I’m not lucid, that if my sisters came with me it means that they have to sign for me, that I have no discernment. Says that are not sufficient the reasons that I’ve put in the letter in order for me to give up the roman-catholic religion. And I said, I said: “but the persons that gave up this religion, didn’t gave the same reason?” how, because it was the context, you know, with the molestation, you know, but he said the words, no, he shrug off heavily of the word “molestation”, but I got this was about, and he said that we are all people that do mistakes, that some I don’t know what, that what this has to do with religion, with us people, that we all do mistakes, that some I don’t know what, and I said that exactly because the priests had discernment and this is the reason I cannot stay along them. When God enacts, I cannot share with them what God says He will enact and I said that it is possible for you not to believe, to say that I’m crazy, that the way I am, the way I am now, but it doesn’t matter anymore, that’s what God told me, to put the letter, that afterwards He will enact. But you know something, when He will enact do not come to my door. Because I am out of this religion. And he said that no, that I have to do another letter and he will explain to me there, and I said they can I put the same letter, because these are my reasons. “No, because they are not conclusive reasons”. He took me…like… And I said that aham, so that’s all about, you twist the words in the way you land on your feet, whatever, there were lots of words, I do not remember all exactly, I do not involve my sisters to say the discussion them too, don’t know what, don’t know how, ’cause you know, I don’t even know, I forgot even how you change a song at the PC, and how you open and close the PC, I was so hooted with my sleep destruction, I’m in my fourth year, I do not have even a single dose of sleep without nightmares. I wake up more tired then I am [I fall asleep]. But I get the energy that you see because I eat a lot and I do not eat randomly, I look to get vitamins, minerals, calcium, magnesium and all of those. I also take herbal remedies because chemical I cannot anymore, because they incur only side effects, I don’t know why, put pills are not good for me anymore and I take only herbals. And I take herbal treatments, I try to relief my head from problems, to think positive, constructive, I do not delude myself with smiles if I don’t feel like smiling, if I’m upset I let my face upset, if I’m happy I’m happy instantaneously, I do not deceive myself. And I try to get over everything, that’s me when I bump of something unknown, I try to move on.
And he, the priest, wants a more elaborate discussion. But I said that the moments of muting alternate with those when I can talk. He took me like “keep it together” like I’m one of those without discernment, like I do not know what… whatever. But I’m glad that I got at least a conversation with him, ’cause this is all from now, I’m done with this, I do not fool around, I do not cover my motives. God asked me to write the reasons for which I want to quit this religion. This is really what I feel. I cannot share with roman-catholic priests that said at the Altar that “the redemption of man resides in the religion they preach and say-so, that, like…” and when they finish with their liturgies, confessions, communions and others, go for fucking and molesting all around. With discernment, without discernment I cannot endure that, simple as that, I do not agree. I do not agree to soil God Enactments with such a thing. I simply do not agree. I don’t care, I now must, how should I say this to you, I have to take care of my health, in order not to get crazy for real at the level of not knowing my name and where I am, not to get to an epilepsy crisis of those that take your lucidity, like happened to me on May 24th, 2012, for the moments when I knew my name alternate with those when not and when I wasn’t even aware of what was happening with me, I didn’t had a clue, and I said something like this I never want to live again. That never repeated since then, but I know that at this time I have the symptoms that I had before May 24th, 2012. And know I know what kind treatments I have to do, ’cause I asked at the drugstore, nurses and doctors and regular people and relatives and strangers and family, I had such a bee in my bonnet, I’ve asked for all loopholes regarding the nervous system in order to know what to do, ’cause some things I understand like this… a little harder. You know, I’m a little blunt, I make people nuts, because people… sometimes I understand from the first time, other times the man repeats and I still didn’t get it… whatever, dysfunctional. I haven’t asked the doctors about what this means too, I wanted high school and college, but not even a professional school I wasn’t able to do. I finished the first year the second in my class and in the last year, I didn’t even deserved to graduate because I think they gave me 5 [minimum passing grade in Romania] from mercy because I wasn’t capable to say not even a phrase at a test with the foreman, at the oral test how they say. They questioned me and I not even a phrase didn’t knew anymore, not a single phrase stood in my mind. I was conscious, but I couldn’t memorize nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing. I opened the notebook at school and nothing, nothing, nothing got into my head, you could have cut it with the ax, nothing, nothing, nothing got into it.
Of, the priest made me sow uncomfortable today, how much he has perturbed me with his shallowness, like it’s nothing that they molested children, I’m going crazy, I’m going crazy of angry. I’m going crazy. I wonder if on this world was there nobody that gave up because of molestation? Am I really the only one that he took me for such a crazy and a fool? Because truly you can see me in pictures and videos and may vouch i’m just a deranged, just a crazy, a crazy peasant, that does not know what she does, what talks. But there is nothing I can do, this is it, if God hadn’t asked me to write all this things on the Internet, I wouldn’t have said a word. As for me, for my part, I said to God: “For my part I may as well be dead and I prefer for the Earth and Heaven to sink and all those Enactments that You said to me, that You said you will do, after that all to wonder, like when you open a history book – was that true or not, if that was real, was not… I have not, I have no reason to come out to my door, nor do I care to talk to the reporters, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing. You’ve got nothing to do but to come and see the sorcerers’ houses sink the way that God has told me, to tape all of you such a happening, and to see how the sorcerers die and all of those… but leave me alone, I want to mind my one business, my health, because I have many things to do for it, to the tiredness and to the adjustment of the nervous system and now I’m on the edge to completely lose my consciousness for life, not knowing who am I and where I am. And I do not want to get there. I’m very labile, meaning weak, because the nurse said that labile has two meanings: crazy for real or that you are very weak, that I derail from one side to another of my nervous system. So for now I’m thankful that, look, I see now that here is dirt and I have to finish, but I will not finish today because it’s a mess, I will even tell my sister that after I finish filming and stop talking to do this, a circle, for you to see the wholes in the roof, to see how the beams look like, to see how the floor looks like because it is not lived, and think that this house was built by my father who is a drunkyard, cares nothing about the house and claims for my mother to support him and he works only for himself and only that so he does not care for the house. People think so bad of us, ’cause why do not care from him, while he walks on his feet and is capable to care for him and for us, but he doesn’t want to, he takes care only for alcohol all day long, he gets along very good with the alcohol from what I see. It remains for me to see if he is guilty or not, but over time, because as for now God gave me no answer if he is really guilty or not. For now this is in tongues. I do not ask the sacred beings for anything.
And do you know what the priest tells to me? That I accuse everybody in that letter, that I harass everybody, I do not know what he was saying there. For you know what I’m sorry for, that I didn’t had my phone to film him, but I have the feeling that I had ho right to film, but this is it. Because with those kind you have to have black-and-white proofs, and they fake them too I think, that I heard at the TV that they can fake the videos. So I can show you I’m not talking nonsense, for you not to tell me again that I accuse one or another. But no, because I give up, I do not care anymore, I actually gave up. I gave up. The family did not went to say they give up. Everyone is free, who wants give up, may give up, who not, not… I did not went, nobody from the village does not know, because I met people when I put the letter, that I left this religion. Nor even my relatives know, because we said to nobody. I said that if this is not found out like this, who knows how, instantaneously or the priest says something, I won’t say anything. My he shout in the church that I quit, may he cut me up in there, the important thing is, the important thing is what God does. If God lets me buried in clear proves that it is not true, first of them medical proves, because it is impossible to trust somebody with my diagnosis, tiredness, disorder and first grade epilepsy, that it is true, especially when you see the pictures with me, that for sure this one is off, this one is a lunatic, and most of all because the years have passed and I kept on saying that it will happen, it will happen, it will happen and the time passed and it did not happened… That you see me now agitated, because God told me not no hide, therefore I do not hide. Now I’m in that nervous moment, now I will succeed to calm down. I think I will pass easily to calm down, it is not a problem. I will calm down nicely, I will walk slow, when I walked fast I ended in epilepsy crises and I do not know what that means for the nervous system. I can walk faster, but not all the time, I work slowly but also fast, usually slower at this time. And to see what I’ll do with myself in order to… in order to not lose myself for real, for the parish priest and all roman-catholic priests to say afterwards that truly she had no discernment. They would bury me with all the funerals only to cover it all – “poor one, she had no discernment, look, she was wrong”. Don’t know what and don’t know how. ’cause you know what I’ve heard and cannot believe? For me it does not make sense such a thing, it is impossible to think something like this, I do not know… even if I will see that the priests and nuns will die and the churches will sink like Jesus told me, the places they drew “părticele” for the people died, churches and monasteries, then I will say too that this was for real, was not the devil that changed, that I heard that the devil changes in the Mother of God, in Jesus, in… And then I will say too “this means that no one mocked me, this is really true”. I know now only one thing thing, that I have to seriously take care of my health if I do not want to lose me for real. Like the parish has said now, he let me know that my sisters have to sign for me, because it seems I have no discernment. Whatever, the states I have and my behavior may send to this conclusion the intellectual people. That he said that we have to discuss it more extensive or some. I said that for sure you are a smart man, you understand everything from one single word, what do you mean I wasn’t clear enough. “No, no, no, you weren’t”, dear me, he took me for a fool. He took me, he got me crazy. But I do not care. You know something, I will not plug God’s Will. God said that if I put the letter in the Parishes mailbox He will start the Enactments for clearly show it is true about me. Until now nothing was done. But if it is done, I will write on the Internet. I will write. But I ask of you, do not come at my door to explain everything all over again. I’m not in that kind of state. I will cure myself naturally, ’cause I’m not asking God for a miracle, bang, to heal me. I treat myself with what I have. If God, along the way, believes that I need to heal, I will, if not, not. I do not… you know the way I act with the sacred persons? When I have something that I do not understand, I first reflect, if I see that I am not still capable to understand…
[Note: We confirm what she said above as we both witnessed the conversation and declare that her psycho-emotional reaction from the recent video is not an usual one, just that it was too much for her to handle the way the Parish Priest treated her as a human being, so much so that she didn’t even managed to properly finish the video. For all that’s worth, we’ve always taken our education very seriously and succeeded in completing a College Degree in Computer Science (Iuliana) and Economics and Finance (Valentina). Whilst not a guarantee nor a defining criteria, as we easily observed throughout the years, education may at least help one to proper choose the filters he/she applies when trying to understand the world we are living in and aspire to make the best of it. Again, we stress the fact that all the information on this website was written by Angelica (the photos and videos attached to every text stand by this affirmation). We agreed to translate in English. Also, all notes and rectifications were requested by or discussed with her. All our interventions were clearly highlighted by name and, if you may observe, all carry grey color. Iuliana and Valentina]
Jesus: “Not all the roman-catholic priests are liars and molesters.”
From Heaven for Earth 
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